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Laughter, Love, or Lust—The Fun Date...

If it is fun that you want, rest assured that anyone you date will be in complete agreement. Beyond that, the challenge will be to come up with something that both of you would consider to actually be fun.

Take time to explore some mutual interests and then plan something around one of them. Also, the previous section on “First Dates” has some good ideas for fun times that are generic enough to be appreciated by both parties on a first time date. However, once you have moved on to further dating, try to do things that you both enjoy. After several dates, you can begin asking the other person to try some things out that would be new to them, although, very familiar to you. If they are agreeable and not made to feel uncomfortable, the new experience might be one that brings the two of you closer together. It could also serve as an indication that something you truly enjoy is not going to be anything that the two of you will be sharing together should a relationship develop.

And finally, a warning to the guys. Listen, men, not every woman wants sex on the first date; or the second date; or even the third date. Forcing yourself on someone to have a little “fun” is not how we define a fun date. If she is receptive to you, that is one thing; but if she does not respond, then back off. If you feel that she is the one for you, be patient. It may take longer, but you will be glad you waited and she will feel that much better about you. The other option, should you decide to push yourself on her, means that you will be out looking again for someone to date.

Virtually Connected—The Internet Date...

Okay, you’ve found someone online that you really like and they like you, too. You’d really like to meet him/her face-to-face. Now what? One of the best and worst things about singles meeting via the Internet is the return of old-fashioned first dates - with the added concern of personal safety when meeting a virtual stranger. Picking a place to meet, an activity to share, things to talk about—it can seem a bit overwhelming; especially when you really want to make a good impression.

The amazing thing about online relationships is that two people are able to get to know each other quite well (should they take the time to do so via e-mail and numerous online chats) before actually meeting. They can even send each other photo snapshots via the net as well as any other information each is willing to share with the other. The point is that, unlike traditional dating, it does not take several times out together to glean all of this information. It has already been done online. In fact, these types of first meetings have the feel of finally being able to spend some real time with a friend. However, one must always be aware that there are those who are not truly genuine. Of course, that can also happen just as often, if not more so, using the traditional approach.

Looking for Mr./Mrs. Right—The Serious Date...

Some people date just for the fun of it. Married people enjoy their date nights out together as well. However, there are those who are seriously looking for that special someone. No one should fault them. In fact, their determination to find the right person to begin a permanent relationship with is the primary purpose of why we date in the first place.

The thought here is that those who are serious daters should be very careful not to put the other person in the uncomfortable situation of being over-scrutinized. Go easy and take your time. If love is meant to be, it will happen naturally.

Remember, too, that men fall in love easier than women. They tend to look (the visual thing) before they leap (the sex thing). Good, long-term relationships are built over an extended period of time. It is one thing to find the right person; it is another thing to maintain a right relationship.

Great Expectations—The Third Date...

Women know about it, talk about it, laugh about it, and sometimes vent about it with their lady friends after some guy has tried it on them once again. Some men try it on the first date, but every gal knows that the third date is usually the charmer. Of course, the ladies are not completely blameless on this count. Some women are more than ready on the first date, whereas, others would really rather wait for a while until they are sure about the guy. Again, one cannot force themselves on someone. Men who have to persuade, cajole, and convince a woman to go to bed with them need to realize that if it doesn’t happen naturally, then it shouldn’t be happening at all...at least not if you would like to go out on a fourth date.